Last Mile Home

My semester abroad is coming to an abrupt ending. It’s a weird feeling – I don’t feel like I’m leaving and I also don’t feel like I’m staying. Two of my roommates have moved out, and another is in Melbourne for two more days, leaving just Wagner and myself in the apartment. The empty rooms and piles of stuff to be packed evoke an absence of belonging. Wag and I don’t feel as if we should still be in the apartment because so many people have already left. Yet we also don’t feel like we’re flying home yet. My flight takes off in just over 3 days but the business of finals and the rush of emotions seeing everyone for the last time has blocked my feeling of upcoming departure from Sydney.

Entering these last four days in Sydney, I still have a lot to do. Despite only having three finals, all three are in my last four days in Sydney. So in the midst of studying for, and taking, exams and packing my apartment, I am doing my best to enjoy moments and time with all the friends I have met here in Sydney. I’ve seen Brian, Caroline, Josh, and Ryan off. Tomorrow Ashna and Maddie head out, and then a whole squad of us departs Sunday morning. Every night seems to be a going-away party. This is not a sad endeavor, however, as it reminds me of the amazing friends I have made in Australia.

Even as I write this, I don’t feel as if I’m actually leaving though. It’s not that of a surreal feeling, it’s something else beyond reach of my words. I’m so excited to be back in Texas, but I’m also still in denial that I am actually leaving. I’m not ready to say goodbye to the Opera House, Darling Harbor, Kingston, Mrs Macquarie’s Chair, Bavarian, Gigi, happy boxes, the laid-back culture, and everything else I’ve grown to appreciate here in Australia.

So as I enter my last mile home (8,754 to be exact) on Sunday, I strive to have the same mindset as when I came to Australia – rather than worrying or excitedly looking forward to my flight across the globe, I am simply going to appreciate the time I have where I am. Rather than looking forward to going home to Texas, I am going to love every moment I have with the people here in Sydney. Rather than dreading leaving my newfound home in Sydney, I am going to live it up while I am still fortunate enough to call it home.

As the old saying goes, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”