Have I Kept Y'all Waiting~?

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Kamora Millan
December 31, 2023

I Have Returned!

Hello, hola and こにちは!Man I am back in a familiar environment but somehow everything feels foreign to me all over again, what the heck is going on here? It's so silly considering that its only been half a year but dang! I really feel like a stranger to my own country again! When I touched down back in the States I knew things were different because I had to pay for a kart to use carry all of my suitcases...back in uh...yeah that was a wake up call for sure. One thing I'm thankful for is NO FOOD COMPLICATIONS ON THE PLANE since I brought my own food with me after the betrayal of arriving in Japan. The jet lag was hitting very hard for me, effectively turning me into a night owl of the highest degree but slowly but surely I've been trying to reacclimate to the time zones again. I think the exhaustion from the entire semester had compiled on me the moment I had saw my own bed again, since I felt like I could sleep for years. I really did need about a full week or two of resting before being able to do normal things again. But that's just life you know? I knew my body needed it, so I took it. But now onward to...What now?

A Remedy for Rest

It is always strange coming back home after each semester for break, but coming from one entirely different culture and country back home was a very interesting thing for me. It felt strange hearing and seeing English everywhere and the whole atmosphere felt entirely different. But being here I sort of felt myself longing for just the constant state of activity I was in back in Japan—I barely had time to rest. Now being presented the opportunity and space to relax it feels like my body is still jittering from the aftershocks of a routine I had just gotten used to. It was kind of hard getting into a mindset where I could feel like I could actually rest up but eventually I managed to get it after absolutely exhausting myself with something kind of wholesome.

Usually during breaks my friend group from middle school likes to get together to just catch up while eating some food and laughing together. I still hadn't gotten my sleep schedule right but I wanted to see my friends since...For us this would be our last break before we would graduate college and everything. We're seniors and this was it! So I spent the whole day cleaning before they came over and we had such a good time all together again but it also felt like a dream since we were all together like this but also because it almost felt like my entire semester in Japan didn't even happen. The only thing at the time that I had to show for it was a plethora of photos and some memories that I had already felt like were beginning to fade somehow, and that made me feel sort of...sad?

Where to Place Emotions 

There was a feeling that began weighing on my heart once I returned home, and it was this sort of fear of forgetting everything and everyone I had the pleasure of interacting with in Japan. Of course I was a bit disheartened that it was all over, but this fear is something I've had about a lot of things. That my memories will get foggier and foggier stuck in my brain somewhere before they're nothing more than a faint feeling of something missing from my timeline of life. I didn't know what to ease those fears with at first but over time I came to the conclusion that those experiences I had are apart of me, even if not actively in the front of my head all the time. And writing down all of this even now helps ease those concerns since if I ever want to come back to this journey I can just read what I've written and bring it back to the front! The photos have stories attached to them and they come back at a moments notice most of the time! I have the contacts of those who are dear to me in Japan and I can connect with them whenever our time zones align the right way! I know its alright to feel a little saddened that its all over but this is also the start of new beginnings! Beginnings and futures!

Thank you to Everyone Along the Path

As I'm typing this, I just want to thank everyone who's stuck with me during everything and to those who have supported and believed in me all of this time. Going to Japan has been one of my biggest dreams since I was a kid and I feel a deep sense of satisfaction knowing that I made it there and thrived the way I did. I felt a bit stagnant coming back because of that thought that persisted—"What's next?" And having no answer. The future is so uncertain after all but I think it'll all work out after everything I gained from heading to Japan. I had a goal in mind and I completed it faster than I thought since going was a lifetime goal but now I feel like I can do anything if I put my mind to it hard enough! When I first applied to this program it didn't register with me that I was going all the way until a week of actually being in Japan that I DID IT. I was there and I should celebrate accomplishing something I put my heart and soul into doing! Now its time to start that process all over again to set out for new sights, and new goals! So for a final time, thank you to everyone for reading! Thanks to everyone for being apart of my story and I hope that I make a guest appearance in yours as well~ One last time—Bye bye, Adios and じゃね~!

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Kamora Millan headshot

Kamora Millan

I am an extroverted, amicable and overall goofy nerd who loves throwing herself in the deep end and coming back to tell the tale of how I did it! I love anything about culture, history and languages. I try to write for your enjoyment~

2023 Fall
Home University:
Southwestern University
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