How is it already the end of October? How could it be that November is creeping up on me? How could it be that my time in Berlin is flying by? The expression is true. Time DOES fly when you're having fun. But I feel as if this is my new permanent home.
Flashback to me packing the day of my flight back in the United States. I woke up that morning saying to myself "Good morning Taylor, you're leaving for Germany today." I sat around my house staring at the clock, waiting for time to speed up so I could fast forward to when I was on the plane. But of course, time moves slow when you want it to speed up. I remember eating my last homemade meal before I left and wondering what I would be eating for the next few months. My family members kept asking me by the minute if I was getting nervous and the occasional "did you pack everything?" My thought process was that if I remained calm on the outside, then I would be calm on the inside. Panic really sunk in when I arrived at the airport. That's when panic mode happened. I knew that once I got out of the car and grabbed my belongings that this was it. There was no turning back. And I'm glad I kept walking.
As humans, we tend to let our emotions get the best of us. If this doesn't happen to you, then teach me your ways. There were so many times throughout the summer that I was questioning if this was going to be the right move for me because I was scared. I was scared that I was making the wrong decision. Scared that I would back out at the last minute. I'm such a nervous person that with every "big" decision I make, I always have to think through it and make sure that this is really the way I want to go. But coming to Germany was very impulsive for me. Even I can't believe that I did it. But here I am. Halfway through, writing to you all.
In the beginning, it's always going to be a little awkward. New place, new culture, new language, new family, new friends. I remember feeling so lost in the beginning. My German was equivalent to the phrase of "hoping for the best but expecting the worst". I didn't know if I would make any friends. I had to buy some clothes that made me fit the aesthetic of looking European, so I couldn't be easily pointed out as an American. It's my first time using public transportation alone, so figuring that out was better than going to Disneyland. Also, it's my first time living in the city, so getting accustomed to that scene has been a ride. I had to develop this relationship with a complete stranger, whom I was going to be living in their house for the next few months (and her cat). I had to learn how to be an adult in a foreign country. I did it all. I'm fine. Life is good here.
As for feeling homesick, that's nonexistent. The only reason I did miss home was because my favorite peanut butter brand was there. But other than that, I feel fine. I finally sent some postcards out to let my family know that I never want to return (if my family is reading, I'm kidding!). Another thing that has been nonexistent is my budgeting plans. I find it really hard to limit myself on spending because it's Europe and when are you going to be able to come back and have that same shirt you wanted five years ago still be there? So that's been my thought process on financing. I'm also becoming a better chef. Don't mean to toot my own horn, but my pasta is delicious. Oh yeah, how could I forget? My German is improving!!! It feels good knowing that I'm able to eavesdrop on people's conversations when I'm on the train. Like, why didn't you invite her to the cafe? There are still some things that are a mystery to me, but I promise I'll write my last blog post in semi-German (I'll provide translations, don't worry).
In the upcoming month, I'm going to be gone every weekend for traveling. And then comes December. Which can please go by slow because I am not ready to leave. I love it here! Maybe I'll miss my plane or something. Talk to you guys later!