What Would Ryan Lochte Do?

Scott Abrams
September 21, 2016

Like Ryan Lochte during the Olympics, I find myself in a foreign place. But over the past few weeks, I have found solace and wisdom in the advice of an affable (if disgraced?) swimmer.

The following are all direct quotes from swimmer, reality star, and aspiring entrepreneur Ryan Lochte.


“What defines me? Ryan Lochte.”

In a new place, with new people, there are some who might completely try to reinvent themselves. But, you know what? I’m pretty great as I am. Just like Ryan Lochte, I define myself. If I don’t want to go out to a nightclub, why should I? And if I do want to go out to a nightclub and partake in embarrassing after-hours activities, I can then go on international television and lie without any consequences!

“Seven Times Four?” “21!”

While Ryan Lochte doesn’t have the greatest math skills, he absolutely nails what it feels like to be an American spending money in the UK. While the Brexit has brought down the value of the pound significantly, you still need to be aware of how much you’re spending. Because $1.30 per pound doesn’t seem that much, but it can really make a difference when you’re buying a new swimsuit!

“Ryan Lochte’s walking everywhere!”

The Tube is great. Honestly, it’s awesome. Some lines now run 24 hours a day! However, to get to most places from the tube station near where I’m living, I have to switch lines, which can be a bit of the pain. There are buses, but those can be slow, so, just like Ryan Lochte, I generally prefer to walk a lot of places! No wonder he has over 130 pairs of shoes!

“I don’t even remember what I got at the Olympics.”

Stay humble. You don’t want to turn into one of those “Harvard Men” who won’t stop mentioning his alma mater every chance he gets. Most people don’t get the opportunity to study abroad, no less at  Oxford, what some might call the greatest university in the world. Ryan Lochte sure didn’t—although he’s not one to brag.

“If you’re a man at night, you gotta be a man in the morning.”

London is amazing, and basically all I want to do is explore! However, the class I’ve been taking for the past few weeks before I get to Oxford has been a lot of work over a very short period of time. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a great experience, and I’ve learned a lot, but it really means that I need to spend my time wisely. I am studying abroad primarily to learn, so, even if I go to the pub at night, I need to make sure I wake up for my 9 a.m. class, just like Ryan Lochte has to wake up for training after a crazy night on the town.

“You can tell a great athlete by, like, not how many times he wins, [but] like when he loses. That’s what is gonna make a swimmer.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

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Scott Abrams

<p>Scott Abrams is an English Literature major at the University of Rochester and is attending Oxford through IES Abroad Direct Enrollment in the fall semester of 2016. His favorite things include warm woolen mittens and celebrity Twitter feuds. He hopes you won&#39;t judge him too harshly.</p>

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