Pressure

As my days here pass by, I’m starting to feel more and more pressure. More specifically, pressure to go out all the time. I’m not sure if it’s my host-mom’s constant inquires in the middle of the week of what I’m going to do during the weekend or the fact that everyone tells me study abroad passes by in the blink of an eye and I have to take advantage of EVERY opportunity. Perhaps it is the fact that by nature I’m a homebody. I can be perfectly happy sitting in the house all day reading books, talking to my family, or just walking around the neighborhood to get some fresh air. I’ve never been one to intricately plan out my weekends and I’ve never been one to stay out all day. There’s something I’ve always enjoyed about relaxing in a place I feel is home. It’s strange how I feel like that’s not okay here. I feel like it’s wrong to want to stay at home for hours and just appreciate where you are. After a week of trying out classes and constructing a would be schedule with extra curricular activities I honestly just want to rest. The bags under my eyes are deepening and my brain waves resemble the annoying grey screen when your television isn’t working.

When I told my host mother the one thing I really wanted to do was sleep this weekend, there was an immediate retort of “But, you can’t sleep all day, you should go to this museum or see this site”. I’ve programmed myself to replay the constant reminder of “they mean well” and respond with my normal “oui” or “d’accord” when I’m unsure of what else to say. It’s times like this I get homesick. However, it is not for my university and the life of an American college student, but for my school vacations when I’m with my own family. I can have a lazy Saturday and not be questioned and Sunday is a day we typically don’t leave the house unless we’re going to church.

But this is an experience to which I will eventually have to adjust. My first order of business, going to the movies so my host mother can see I did something today…