In Denial

Once I finish up and submit the last of my work tonight, I will be officially done the semester. Finals week came and went, and while it was anything but stress-free, I am suddenly thrust into the Act of Goodbye. I leave on Sunday, and I’ve already said goodbye (and forgotten to say goodbye) to some people with whom I’ve spent the last four months. Angel, Yolanda, Maria Jose, Montse, Beatriz, Javier, Pablo, my classmates and friends — I still feel like I am going to see all these people again after Christmas vacation, and we are going to go back to having classes and spending time together here in Madrid. It is so unbelievable that I have to begin saying goodbye to everyone, both my American friends and Spanish friends and family. I am definitely in denial about it all and am sitting in my bedroom in my house on Calle Del Comercio, thinking it’s not going to happen.

The truth is that I have shared an amazing experience with this close-knit group of 18 engineering students — an experience that I will likely never share with even my closest friends. Together we have navigated the streets of Madrid, learned how to survive, and made our home here; not to mention, I’ve had an unforgettable time living with Jose and Maribel, my host family, who have treated me like one of their own. The worst part is that I will probably never see the majority of them again, and that it is a tough pill to swallow. Of course I will be in contact with all of these people in some form or another for the rest of my life, but this experience will never repeat itself. It could not be more true that to study abroad is a once in a lifetime experience.

I can’t wait to see my family, and right now that is blocking my feelings toward my friends and family in Madrid. I just can’t believe it is about to be over; I can’t say it enough. The one silver lining is that now I know that I will have contacts not just in Spain but all over the United States. My network of friends is large and spreads far and wide. And that is a blessing.