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Say Yes to Everything...?

Jade Estling Headshot
Jade Estling
 September 22, 2025
An image of the Duomo in Milan, Italy.
​I have been in Milan for a week now, and the beginning of my semester abroad has felt a little like the beginning of my first year of college. When I look back at my first year of college, I remember feeling pressure to get to know as many people as quickly as possible, saying yes to every plan I was invited to in order to build those connections and friendships, and feeling extremely socially exhausted.
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During my first week abroad, I have noticed this feeling starting to creep up on me again. There is a sort of fear that people are connecting with each other without you, seeing sites and making memories that you will not be a part of. FOMO is very real and something I tend to feel easily. However, despite this, I am learning how to balance that feeling of needing to attend every social event I am invited to and listening to my social battery in order to avoid social burnout.
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It is unrealistic to have an infinite social battery, so if you are studying abroad and you relate to the social pressure of not missing out on anything with anyone, here are a few tips I have discovered in my first week:
 
  1. Do one thing a day. I overheard one of the Italian Student Companions giving this advice to someone I recently met here. She said that having one plan a day with someone is a great way to meet the people in your program and see or do something new. It can feel overwhelming to jam pack your day full of plans with people you just met in a city you don’t know, so having one plan a day can make it feel like a much easier task to manage.
  2. You don't have to get along with everyone. I pride myself on being a friendly, adaptable person. Before I left to go abroad, people would ask me if I was nervous about having to make new friends while abroad. I would reply, “No, I think I could make friends with anyone sitting in front of me.” I do still think this to be true, though I have realized that it doesn’t have to be. Yes, I believe I can get along with nearly anyone and have a good enough time doing it, but it is okay to acknowledge that some people have very different interests, communication styles, and expectations when it comes to friendship. Some people may simply not be your type of people, and that is okay.
  3. It is okay to say no. The jet lag, the culture shock, the studying, or whatever it may be that is causing your brain and body to beg for a break should be listened to. If you are too tired to go to the club, you can stay home. If you are too socially drained to go to dinner, say no and go next time. Whatever the reason—or even if there is no reason at all—remind yourself that it is okay to take a rest from the social activity and the getting to know people.
     
    Friendship is a big part of my life at home, and I hope it to be here as well. I have put a lot of emphasis on my first week to make connections with the people I have met here. I have pushed myself to go out when I definitely should have gone to sleep, but I am continuing to learn how to recognize my social burnout and when I should push myself to say yes to the plans I am being invited to.
     
This is perhaps a more unconventional first study abroad blog post, but I hope to keep my posts transparent in order to help anyone else currently studying abroad or someone who will be studying abroad in the future. If you are not either of those things and you are one of my friends or family who is reading this—hi! I am having a lot of fun in Milan, I swear!
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I hope you continue to follow along with me on my study abroad journey!
Jade :)

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Jade Estling Headshot

Jade Estling

I am a senior at St. Olaf College in Minnesota where I am majoring in Sociology/Anthropology and Political Science. I am the oldest of my sibling, and I am also a Scorpio. I love to read, do puzzle, thrift, go to concerts, and play volleyball. 

Destination:
Term:
2025 Fall
Home University:
St. Olaf College
Major:
Anthropology
Political Science
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