How to Say Goodbye

I know how to say goodbye to my family who live on the other side of the state. I know how to say goodbye to my hometown friends who go to different colleges. And I know how to say goodbye to my college friends because I know that I will see them at school sometime soon again. No one prepared me for saying goodbye to the friends I’ve made here. 

When people talk about their study abroad experience, I have never heard them reference the friends they made there. People talk about the amazing places they’ve seen and the destinations they’ve traveled to. They talk about the food or the culture or the public transportation. I think this is maybe because that is what they know people are interested in hearing about, or maybe it is because it’s easier than bringing up all the amazing memories they have with the friends that they had to leave there. 

Coming into study abroad, I wasn’t nervous about making friends. I knew I would, but I never even considered that I would then have to say goodbye to them. I think this type of goodbye is a lot different than the type of goodbye you say to your family when going back to school or your friends before leaving for summer break. This type of goodbye is so much more final. Not because you will never see these people again (because if you’ve made really good friends you will put in effort to see them again), but because you will never see them again in this way. We will never be twenty-something in Milan, Italy studying abroad again. 

There’s a real finality that starts to creep over you during your final days abroad. It starts to play in my head, the “I will never do this again.” I will never go to that club with these people again. I will probably never go to my favorite aperitivo place again, and I may never see the Duomo again unless I plan a trip to Milan in my adult life. I will never sit in another Italian class (this one I’m actually really happy about! No offense to my professor, she was lovely!). The lasts have started happening, and as I type this, I have only three more full days in Milan. 

I don’t know how to say goodbye this time. I don’t know how to say goodbye to the wonderful Italians I’ve met or the wonderful American friends I’ve made here. I don’t know how to say goodbye to this city and country, but it is all happening soon. I keep being asked if I’m sad to leave or ready to go home, and honestly the answer is both. However, it’s only started to hit me that once this is over, it’s really over. We will never be twenty-something studying abroad in Milan ever again. 

I don’t know how to say goodbye. I wish I could tell you I did, but this part isn’t really something I’ve prepared for. I’ve been so excited to get back and see everyone from home that I miss, without considering that I will have to say goodbye to these people and this experience. It is important to acknowledge the sadness in leaving, but it is also necessary to focus on the positives of your study abroad experience and your excitement to see your family and friends back home. 

We will never be twenty-something studying abroad in Milan ever again, but we will see each other again. 

Xx, 

Jade