Battling Loneliness Abroad

Well, wouldn’t you know it… moving away from everything and everyone you know and love has its downsides. While international travel is an incredible opportunity, it can be quite isolating and lonely, especially if you are not a native speaker. I am not a native Spanish speaker and though I love to practice my Spanish in Santiago, Chile and learn more and more everyday, I struggle to express my personality through my second language. It’s harder to connect with people and make friends, and it can feel really, really lonely at times. So here are some ways I deal with that!

1. Solo dates

Being alone can be wonderful when it’s intentional. If I have enough energy after my internship, I like to go to a café and get myself a pastry while I journal or work on creative projects. I love people-watching and practicing my Spanish through listening, discovering new Spanish songs from café playlists, and trying new foods. If you change your mentality around being alone to spending time with yourself instead of by yourself, it can feel much more rewarding.

2. Set personal goals

If I’m working towards something, I feel a lot better about being alone. If you don’t know where to start, my advice is to base your goals on your interests. For example, some of my personal goals include starting a novel, junk journaling, trying as many boba shops as I can in Providencia, and hiking different cerros around Santiago. These are things I can accomplish without needing a friend to come with me.

3. Call home… but not too much!

Living in the moment is what will help you snap out of that loneliness, and calling home too often will only remind you of what you’re missing. It’s important to stay connected to loved ones of course, but speaking from personal experience, facetiming with my long-distance friends and family is better in moderation. Plus, it’s more fun to have stories to tell them of the places you went and the food you tried and the sights you saw instead of only complaining about how you want to come home. Going on those solo dates and working towards those solo goals will give you things to talk about with your loved ones on call.

4. Be the one to take initiative

I know from experience how embarrassing it can feel to be the one to reach out first to make plans, but it is definitely worth it in the long run. So many of us wait for others to make a move, and end up waiting forever. Rejection is scary but short-lived. If you want to grab dinner with your coworkers after your internship, just ask! One of my favorite strategies for inviting new acquaintances to hang out is to say, “I’m going to this event. Do you want to come?” This way you are committing yourself to going, sí o sí. If your new acquaintance says no, you can invite someone else, or go alone—either way, you have something to do.

I hope these tips help you! Either way, try to take advantage of your time abroad to explore, even if you have to do it alone. Think of it as an opportunity to get to know yourself better! You got this.