Dublin. . . It’s Happening!

I leave for Dublin, Ireland in three days and my feelings about the upcoming adventure change almost every hour. How does one pack and prepare for a semester with so many unknowns?! I have made packing lists, consulted with IES Abroad alumni, had tearful conversations with loved ones, devoted journal entries to the topic, and have watched an embarrassing amount of Instagram reels about the city. Even with all of this preparation and mental and emotional processing, settling into Dublin feels like solving a very complicated Rubik’s Cube or starting a garden in a plot overcome with weeds and worms! 

On top of nerves and anxieties about studying abroad, the transitional period I’ve been in these last two weeks has been a whole other challenge. It’s been this weird time between my summer engagements and well leaving the country that I have just had to sit with. All of my thoughts and ideas lead back to Dublin, what I still need to arrange before I leave, what meals I should try and cook, anything! And on the days when I feel more scared than excited this Dublin tunnel vision only amplifies my worries and nerves. Which is why, even though I am kind of terrified out of my mind, I want my abroad semester to start already!

This semester abroad has been something I’ve been planning and organizing my life around for months, and the adrenaline definitely wore off after the first week or two. What I’ve realized as an undergraduate student is that I’ve signed myself up for four years of substantial, rapid change. Even in one calendar year I am in completely different school years, with different knowledge, goals, and relationships to build on. What’s more, the time before a big break or the start of a semester doesn’t feel nearly as murky and liminal as it does now, before I head to Dublin. Writing about this in-between moment reminds me of something a professor of mine said after students shared they were almost done with their senior thesis and feeling completely drained. She said how there is no feeling quite like being “almost done” or “about to begin.” For these moments are when your mind is most occupied with whatever task or journey, plus the mix of nerves, exhaustion, excitement, and pride stand out more now in this moment than when the project/journey is done or has finally started. I thought this was such an insightful way to live and think through those intermediary moments in our lives and is the mindset I’ve started to develop in these final days leading up to my flight. 

Once the familiarity of home and family fall into the background, I am really curious and honored to witness how I will grow and change during my time in Dublin. This doesn’t mean I’m feeling particularly ready to say goodbye to home and loved ones, it will be a teary goodbye for sure. Though as preparation, I have made a list of my favorite shows, movies, and music that I’m hoping will quickly counteract the tears. Wish me luck!