The Importance of Long-Distance Communication (and the Privilege of Having Things to Miss!)

I recently took a trip to Barcelona, Spain over the Halloween weekend to meet up with my teammates and friends who are also studying abroad this semester. This was the first time since the Spring semester that I was able to see them in person, and the first time during our study abroad semester that I had been able to reconnect with the people I had grown incredibly close to before leaving for abroad. Our communication had been different during the Fall semester, limited to a few spur-of-the-moment FaceTime calls and the occasional text message. As time progressed through the Fall, texts often became less frequent from both myself and my friends, as we became increasingly engrossed in our present lives in front of us. The desire to reach out was there, but the time was not. As I was finally able to reconnect with my friends in person, I realized two things: I had missed them dearly, and I regretted not reaching out more. 

Online communication has become an integral part of our everyday lives living in the 21st century. Whether we’re using our computers for homework assignments, jotting down grocery lists in the Notes app, sending memes or social media posts to friends, or calling relatives, it feels as if our lives are increasingly digitized. Although this can be frustrating at times, it provides an avenue for communication that wouldn’t otherwise be possible. Coming from a small school and an even smaller hometown, the need for technology and online communication was lessened by geographical closeness. I didn’t need to send my friends updates about where I was when we could all just walk to the dining hall to meet up. I didn’t have to call my Mom to share about my day, I could just drive home for the weekend and tell her in-person. 

Studying abroad complicates communication, leaving the connections with people you value to exist from behind a screen. Reflecting on my time talking to friends over the phone or texting left me regretful for not seeking out more communication, but at the same time illuminated how much I valued when I or someone else did reach out. Just because my friends were in different places did not mean I could not stay engaged in their lives too. Just because someone was busy did not mean that our friendship was dwindling; it only meant that there would be even more to talk about the next time we connected! Whether it was just a simple text to ask how someone was doing, or a twenty minute voice memo explaining how someone had taken the wrong train to class, I realized that my friendships had not dwindled, but had just taken on new forms. 

I also reflected on how great it is to have such innumerable things to miss. Even as I continue to make conscious effort to maintain my friendships and reach out, I am reminded of how grateful I am that these connections exist. I am reminded of the privilege of having something worth missing, whether it is a conversation, a moment, a place, or a person. Abroad has taught me that long-distance friendships and communication are not a loss, but a testament to how strong a bond with someone else can be.