The True Meaning of Life-Changing

On one of my last afternoons in Freiburg, my friend Anders and I were lounging in the grass at the university botanical gardens. It was one of those perfect summer afternoons where the sun showers everything in golden light. A gentle breeze rustled the reeds next to the small pond we were facing. A family of ducks splashed around and nibbled on grass, and I watched as a few of them lazily waddled out of the pond to preen their feathers in the sun. I felt completely and totally at peace. 

At some point, we started reminiscing about our memories in Freiburg and what we had accomplished over the last four months. Anders asked me, “Would you say that studying abroad has been a life-changing experience for you?”

The question caught me off-guard. To answer with a simple yes or no, I think, would be insufficient. During the application process, it seemed that whenever someone older talked about studying abroad, they would say, “It was the most eye-opening experience of my life,” or “I have never been the same.” And while I believed them, it also sounded like they were trying to sell me something too good to be true.

I’m going to be honest—It’s hard for me to say that studying abroad has altered my life path. I guess I don’t know the extent to which study abroad has impacted me yet. Especially since I only returned to the United States three days ago, and I haven’t done anything except sleep.

But even in my jet lagged haze, I can recognize that studying abroad did shape me as a person. Spending four months away from my home pushed me to new boundaries. I learned how to balance priorities between two different continents. I became more independent, and a more confident decision-maker. At the same time, I allowed myself to open up to others and be more emotionally vulnerable, which was previously a challenge for me. I met people who redefined my idea of friendship. I became more spontaneous. My friends and I signed up for a volleyball tournament, even though we had no technical skills and had never practiced together. I faced my fear of biking. I jumped off the bridge into the lake at Seepark. I was inspired to play piano again, a passion that was buried in high school stress and pressure to perform, but now I realize I can play just for the joy of it. I learned how to cook my roommate’s chicken biryani, which I plan to make for my friends and family in the US. I learned how to play euchre, how to make a flute out of a carrot, and how to spiral a football. These memories that I’ll carry with me ensure that my time abroad was not just a blip, or a momentary escape from “real life”. 

If we’re defining life-changing as some massive, cosmic event that completely restructured my way of thinking, then my answer to Anders’ question is no. The core essence of who I am is rooted in my family, my hometown, and the culture that I was raised in. None of that has changed.

But months, or maybe even years down the line, what I have gained from this experience will appear in small, unexpected ways. Maybe I’ll be brave enough to approach a German couple in the grocery store and speak German with them. Or I’ll smile when I hear a song that reminds me of someone I met in Freiburg. Or I’ll encounter a research article about the Wadden Sea and deeply understand what I’m reading, because I walked across it! 

For me, studying abroad was not life-changing in the traditional meaning of the word. Instead, I offer an alternate definition: an accumulation of small discoveries that evolved my perspective of myself and the world.