Midway Panic

It’s now March. Midterms have passed, the sun is starting to come out, and the reality of returning to America is starting to become scarily ever-present. Frankly, I’m a bit stressed and scared. Job applications, figuring out housing for next year, planning my schedule for next semester, it’s hard not to feel like my abroad bubble is bursting. Sometimes I can find myself so wrapped up in my anxieties about returning to America that it can be hard to appreciate my time here in London. I had been dreaming about studying abroad for years, and the fact that I’m not only actively doing it but that it will be a thing of the past soon is nothing short of a torment. Because of this, I wanted to make something of a gratitude journal. I’m a big fan of rose bud thorns (cheesy as it is), and while my anxieties about returning are certainly my thorn, I encourage everyone dealing with these same fears to acknowledge them, hear them, and then appreciate the good.

My Roses (good things that have already happened):

• Being here! (Generally)
• The trip to Edinburgh
  • I got to feed a deer and it was the best thing I’ve ever done I think
• Seeing theatre
  • Look out for a comprehensive theatre review, but I’ve seen over 10 shows so far
• Spending more time with myself
• Having more free time
• Getting to be around loved ones
• Trying amazing food!
  • My favorites have been The Jam, Bill’s, and Borough Market (basic I know, but it’s so good!!)
• Taking fun classes!
• Visiting museums
  • This goes with taking fun classes, my art history class has taught me so much and going to museums every week has been absolutely amazing
• Taking dance classes
  • I’ve been taking weekly dance classes at Pineapple Studios and it has been incredible to get myself back in the studio
• Quirky nightlife
  • This has included mini golf, a blacklight arcade, and more! (DC–where I go to school–could never)

My Buds (things I’m looking forward to):

• My mom is coming next week! 
  • I’m very excited to show her around
• Exploring Europe with my lovely partner after the semester
• Spring in London
• Trying even more restaurants (making reservations soon)
• Seeing even more theatre
• Making sure I explore the city more comprehensively
• And more more more! (I’m trying to be more spontaneous)

Try to find gratitude when anxiety hits. Going home probably won’t be the easiest thing, but finding gratitude while I still have time left will help me feel grateful for what I’ve experienced once it is over. I have found so much love and light while here, and while everything must end, take a moment to reflect, breathe, and take everything moment by moment.